Zara hayete, I've been really hard to handle this year. I felt lost many times, trying to find my value in many things — but I've been impatient with myself, always wanting more results to recognise myself.

And you've always tried every way possible to be by my side. You've always told me the words I needed to hear, lifted my mood when it was low, and tried every way possible to make us happy.

But I've been ruining it, more and more — becoming impatient because I'm always focused on one only thing and sucked into it. I forget to separate the two. My mind is always stuck on what I should do next, never on how to pause and reflect.

I know very well that if I keep doing this, I'll lose you — and by losing you, I'll lose myself. I cannot afford that.

Not even a day made me realise what not talking to you and not hearing your voice means to me. And I know I can't handle more than that.

Every time I imagined not hearing your voice for more than one day, I felt how empty I would be.

I'm not telling you I'll come back and switch in a day — that would be lying.

But I really want to make the effort to never break your mood, never to hear you cry.

You've put all your energy and love into the relationship — and as the woman you are, you do not deserve a single word of how I've talked to you recently.

I see every effort you put into this relationship. I see how you try to hold me up and try to make me happy. I've never had the chance to learn so many things, visit so many countries, and grow as a man — before you.

You'll always be my flame. Without you, I have no purpose for anything I'm doing. So finance is not the pillar — you are my pillar.

It's time for us to come back to our happy couple — to start planning for next year. And I promise I'll put much more effort into us than I have these past months.